This post originally appeared here on Dec. 17, 2013. During this holiday season, and as we look ahead to a new year, it seemed a fitting time to bring it out again. It’s also a great reminder to me, to reflect on all that running has brought into my life. Happy New Year, friends! ~MRG
“Oh, wow, it is so pretty outside!”
This is the second, maybe third, time I’ve said this aloud as the five of us run (trudge) through the sand-like snow covering downtown streets while big, fat flakes fall from the early-morning sky. The words slip from my mouth before I can stop them, I’m just that in awe of how beautiful it is, how winter wonderland-ish it is this mid-December morning.
I wonder if I’m annoying my running partners. It’s not like this is out-of-the-ordinary weather for us here in northern Michigan. I’m not a transplant, either—I’ve grown up with ice and blizzards and enormous snowbanks and snowdrifts. This is winter. I know this.
Maybe this is just a symptom of age. Older, wiser, mature people talk about the weather all the time, right? And it is my birthday today, actually. I am now just one year shy of 4-0. Is this my future? Monitoring the weather and talking endlessly about it, especially when it’s particularly picturesque?
Or maybe this is just a runner thing. An endurance lifestyle-devotee thing.
A gulp of cold air and the way it surprises you with its strength. A north wind that whips your face, stinging your eyes and triggering tears and a rosy, runny nose. A slice of sunshine piercing bare branches and pooling on the road in front of you. These are among the things I notice like never before. I’m hyper aware, even (especially?) as I huff up a hill, of everything around me and how it affects my body, my mind, my entire being.
Becoming a runner means seeing and feeling life as though a switch has been flipped and you can’t imagine going back to how things were before. It’s like the euphoria you experience after waking up feeling better, finally, following a week of being stuck in bed with the flu. Boy, did I ever feel awful! It’s so wonderful feeling good again! I don’t want to ever be that sick again!
My life wasn’t terrible or unfulfilling as a non-runner, of course. I’ve had many, many moments of joy and absolute contentedness similar to those I feel as a runner. But I think I can say my life wasn’t as full, as ripe and as juicy and as delicious.
Or maybe it was, and I just couldn’t see it. I didn’t recognize things and people and feelings and moments in the same ways. I think we all start out being open and honest—think about how we are as kids—and things happen and close us up some and we choose to hide parts of ourselves.
I notice that our youngest child in particular, at age 8, is wide, wide open, and I love this about him. He takes notice of what’s going on around him and shares so freely. Sometimes I admit it can be too much—we’ve had plenty of talks about to who and when and where it’s appropriate to talk about certain things—but I also love that he has the bravery and curiosity to put things out there. I think running has helped me circle back around to this child-like behavior. As my senses have heightened, so has my willingness to be me. To feel confident of who I am and being that person all of the time, not only with those I trust most. Running revealed so much to me, and in turn I’m open to reveal more of myself to the world.
It’s a vulnerable way to live, to put yourself out there day after day, exposing yourself to the elements and to people and to a life that isn’t always so kind in return. It’s not the easy way to live, and there are definitely times when it can seem too much, too much alive-ness. Yet I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just as our muscles are strengthened by miles logged, so are our souls by the real-ness and authenticity and love and kindness we offer. And I’ll take a stronger body, heart and mind any day of the week, so this work of being me, of being the best version of myself, is worth it.
This 6-mile snow globe run with my sole sisters—clearly another of those moments when I feel truly alive—reminds me for the thousandth time of what running brings to my life: the blessings of incredible people in my life and the knowing and appreciating of beauty that is all around, no matter the weather.
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Here’s to another year of living, feeling, experiencing life. How has running changed you and your approach to life?
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What has running brought into your life?
Do you notice life more as a runner?
